In the headache-inducing world of
modern dating, a group straddles the gap between borderline stalkers, the
illusive ghosters and the tech-savvy mooners. They’re called the breadcrumbers.
The term describes those people who contact you intermittently to keep you
interested, but are stubbornly vague on whether a relationship will ever
blossom. Then they vanish, and the cycle starts again. They keep you in limbo,
just in case someone better comes along. The trail of morsels that
breadcrumbers leave can range from seemingly random flirtatious texts, to like
on Instagram from three weeks ago without making any further contact. But in a
world where everything is instant, is crying “breadcrumb” the worst sign of
entitlement? After all, texting back and forth doesn’t mean someone is bound to
you. It’s complicated, says Dr Gayle Brewer, senior lecturer in psychology at
the University of Central Lancashire. Such labels can be a useful way to behavior
that we find inappropriate or hurtful, she said. To Dr Brewer, the whole mess
could be avoided if people were clear about the type of relationship they are
looking for: whether that is hooking-up or something casual while they consider
their options. With this information, people can decide whether to pursue the
relationship and what to expect.
